Ladies and gentleman, there is a growing pandemic that is affecting our society and cultures. This pandemic has moved from one culture to another…spreading like wild fire from continent to continent and city to city. It started off with Asians then slowly moved west to Europeans and East to the Americas. This serious medical condition knows no boundaries and with cross continental travel at our disposal we have seen alarming numbers in New York rise every year. This name of this medical condition is Noassatall.
Noassatall is the lack and or degradation of the posterior soft tissue structures of the hip known as the glutes, commonly known as the butt. Other nomenclature that may be associated with this condition is “Flat Ass”, “No Ass Bastard” and “No Butt”.
Note the Pictures to the left. This shows the classical picture of the Noassatall condition. No superior protrusion of the posterior hip, this protrusion is commonly known as a shelf or the top of the trunk. As you observe, inferior to the shelf, the “body” of the buttocks the flatness continues resulting a pair of saggy jeans. Note how the back and buttocks just blend down into a pair of legs without distinction from one or the other, see below.
What causes this dreaded condition? The number one cause of Noassatall condition is the lack of engagement of the butt, technically called the glutes, which is comprised of three muscles:
• Gluteus Maximus
• Gluteus Medius
• Gluteus Minimus
What are some of other complications due to the lack of engagement of the glutes?
- Poor Back Stabilization! Your glutes are the strongest superficial muscle on the human body. One of the main functions of the glutes is that it works in concert with other muscles, like your lower back muscles, to support and stabilize your lower back throughout various movements through a serape affect.
- Poor Hip Stabilization. We are moving machines, or at least we were designed to move. The glutes are responsible for lateral stabilization, especially during a gait pattern; the stance glute stabilizes the hip from dropping because the opposite leg is in a swing phase and is off the ground. This leaves you on one leg.
- The glutes are also the muscle that propels you. The major function of the glutes is to extend the hip. This hip extension is what you use when you ambulate: walk, run, jump…etc.
So what can be done to stymie the spread of this condition?
If the major movement is hip extension then you need to extend your hip and there is several ways that can be achieved:
1. Basic “bridging” can be done in any home and a great place to begin to engage those non engaged glutes. There are many variations to this movement the one to the right is most common. Once mastered on both legs the performer can progress to the single leg squats.
2. Prone, lying on your stomach, hip extensions. Just like the above exercise. This movement can be done in the comfort of your home. This can be done utilizing ankle weights, cable machines, free weight, bands and no resistance.
3. Squats, Step-Ups, Lunges and Dead Lifts of all various types. The more functional of the 3 choices also the more challenging of the 3 choices. The first three movements listed, squats, step-ups and lunges, can all be done with or without external loading. Dead Lifts are always done loaded hence the name dead lift.
Bring an end to this pandemic and start working on glute engagement and help rid the world of the dreaded condition Noassatall.
Coach T
. No B.S. doesn’t jump on the latest fitness bandwagon, in fact we’ve been using the latest “fads” like kbs, oly lifting, high intensity intervals, etc, for clients, for over 10 years before they became popular. Ooh sorry for that rant… back to to things you can do for the summer.
